Motivational Monday

I had a really amazing weekend this past weekend. And now looking back at it I question why I held so much fear leading up to it. But, not only leading up but after it as well. It was a whole new set of fears. Personally for me a lot of them stem around rejection and abandonment. And it got me thinking about all the times I- or we- have let fear stand in our way! Like it’s the black knight in Monty Python and The Holy Grail. “None shall pass!” And maybe instead of saying “Ok, see ya” and allowing it to have any say, we start looking at it like King Arthur. First he tried to reason with the black knight, even offered him a spot at the round table knowing he did an important job (see the IFS connection?) but when the fear was unrelenting, the measures changed until enough was enough. “What are you going to do? Bleed on me?!” And walk on by….

Most people think of fear as the enemy. It feels like a wall, a weakness, a shadow we need to run from or fight against. But what if I told you—fear is not the enemy? In fact, both Buddhist wisdom and modern psychology show us that fear, when understood, can become one of our greatest teachers.

Let’s begin with the Buddhist view.

In Buddhism, fear is not denied, ignored, or judged. It’s seen as part of the human experience—one of the many “visitors” that come and go from the mind. The Buddha never said, “You must not be afraid.” Instead, he said, “Observe your fear. Know it. Sit with it.” Why? Because when we resist fear, it controls us. But when we acknowledge it, we become free.

There’s a famous story about the Buddha encountering Mara—the demon of fear, doubt, and temptation. Instead of running, the Buddha greeted Mara like an old friend and said, “I see you, Mara.” That’s all. And in that seeing—in that calm, courageous awareness—Mara lost his power.

Psychology tells us something similar.

Fear is a natural part of our evolutionary wiring. It was designed to protect us—from real threats like predators or danger. But today, most of our fears aren’t about survival—they’re about rejection, failure, change, or the unknown. The brain still reacts the same way, pumping adrenaline, urging us to escape. But the true danger? It’s rarely outside us. It’s in the meaning we assign to that fear.

So looking at fear and realizing “The only way out is through” is where our personal growth lies. Avoidance makes fear grow. But when we face it, even in small steps, the brain learns a new truth: I am safe. I can handle this.

From both perspectives—Buddhist and psychological—we’re taught that fear is not something to fight. It’s something to be with, to learn from, to even bow to. Because fear often shows us where we care deeply. It marks the edge of our comfort zone. And beyond that edge? Is growth.

So, if you’re afraid—good. That means you’re alive. That means you’re stepping toward something that matters. But remember: You are not your fear. You are the awareness watching the fear. And that awareness is calm. That awareness is spacious. That awareness is unshakable.

So the next time fear knocks on your door—pause. Breathe. Say, “I see you.” Welcome it in like an old teacher. And then keep walking, even if your legs are shaking.

Because courage is not the absence of fear.

Courage is fear… walking.